and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize