my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize