It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
