Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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