so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?