i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
