i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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