Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I didn't shave. On purpose
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.