Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
