I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
