My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I enjoy the company of your penis
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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