So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
