I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
