I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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