idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just high enough for therapy.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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