We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
