Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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