I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Randomize
