good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
