I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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