just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
