im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
