remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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