Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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