Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
