what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
