Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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