I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
smell my finger.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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