There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Porn is love you can see.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
