Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
