so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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