Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
