Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
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