You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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