What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
