it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I didn't notice because vodka
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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