When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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