i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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