Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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