Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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