just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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