ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
one two three fourrrrnication!
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
