Christians are straight up FREAKS
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
you are never too drunk for berry picking
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
