Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
