what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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