what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
