stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
