You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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