Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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