i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
