why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
