I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
