I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
