About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
