Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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