My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
