why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
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