tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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