I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
