drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
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