And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
