I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
