my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
