D3 body, D1 cock
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
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