Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
