i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
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Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize