How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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