About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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